Pain in the Butt

I've been out of commission for almost a week now, and it looks like several more days minimum before I will be able to run. I had what was supposed to be minor surgery last Friday...here is a brief report. I had only told a few of my friends and family what was being done just out of embarrassment, but I guess I shouldn't be embarrassed; it is just one of those things and I'm just glad it is almost over. I had hemorrhoids and over the last several years had been putting up with some pretty bad discomfort and blood loss. Running obviously isn't the best thing in the world for it, and I can tell you that wiping with a pine branch in the middle of a long run is no fun. I finally went to my family doctor and he referred me to a specialist and said they had a lot of easy, out-patient non-invasive procedures that are able to be done these days. The specialist took one look and said I was way past those quick/easy procedures and due to my age and activity level, he wanted me to have surgery asap. I put it off till after WTC, and then it was rescheduled once due to the surgeon's schedule but I finally had it done last Friday. It was a general anesthesia procedure which sounded good to me. I woke up in the recovery room and they said I could go home as soon as I could take a leak on my own, but before that ever happened I started bleeding all over the place and was rushed back into the operating room. They stopped the bleeding and still think the procedure will have the expected (good) outcome. I did have to spend the night in the hospital though and am still in a lot of discomfort. So here are my Percocet-induced ramblings about the whole ordeal:
1. How the hell do people function while on/addicted to Percocet? I can't focus on anything for longer than 30 seconds.

2. Any jokes about pulling your pants down and bending over cause it is tax day are crazy. Paying taxes is way better than literally having to bend over like I did.

3. If you lose a ton of blood and live at 7200 feet, I don't care how good of shape you are in you can suddenly barely walk up the stairs.

4. I hope the surgeon had really small hands and really tiny instruments, but based on how I feel, I think he could probably palm a basketball with ease.

5. Post surgery pain of this kind is way different than any self-induced running pain that we are used to dealing with. Apparently running 100 milers doesn't make you tough when it comes to other pain.

6. My surgeon called me dude.

Thanks to all my friends who called or stopped by the hospital, and all you running clients who have been very patient with me as the emails and running log entries piled up.